love isn't easy

feeling so lost and helpless

2011-08-26T21:27:00.003+08:00

lately i feel so lost, no one there to listen to me..
the term family means nothing to me anymore, the function of the family is to provide emotional support for all members..but is that really the case? well, maybe not for me.. some may say tat well u can talk to ur friends abt it but friends have their own probs too, who am i to make them listen to my probs and add to their burden.i have always felt so distant from the rest of them but they dun even realise it bcos they are too caught up w their joys when spending time together.it is as if i am no one's child..i may look happy on the outside but who actually realises tat i am not?who can see there is a hint of sadness on my face sometimes?but no one cares...who understands tat i am going thru a lot of stress? and who knows that sometimes i cry secretly when no one is looking... u always claim tat u r not giving any stress at all, but is tat really true..everytime i get my results u will say things like aiya must be never study whole day play com, but do u even see how hard i worked for an improvement in some of my subjects..all u see is only the bad results..but wat abt those Bs?u think it is tat easy?come on stop acting as if u r smarter than me,u r nowhere better..u always say how successful u will be if u continued studying,come on u didnt even try,how would u noe..and furthermore e level of difficulty has gone up,so dun u dare to compare ur generation and mine..and when have u ever lent a listening ear when i need it so badly..stop acting like u care so much for me in front of outsiders when u dont even mean it..all i can see at home is ur bias behaviour. i am sick and tired of all these acting..so pls stop..

2010-04-22T08:35:00.002+08:00

hey peeps!!!miss u guys!!!omg it has been a long time since i last blogged. pjc is fine,just that pe damn shiong.,..
coping w e accumulating stress but for pi omg i tell u i am dying.wat r e probs in s'pore any ideas anyone???i need it for my applied case. pls...
haha i am blogging during pw lesson...bb teacher coming alr...

2010-01-29T17:57:00.002+08:00

yesterday
reported to pjc at 7.30pm,everyone there like so damn sian...those newtowners who r in pjc r amanda,siying,jun yan,vanessa,estelle n some other boys.we just had a tour of the sch n listened to some teachers talk.after tat, we went for some introductory lectures of the various subjects.saw grace jie and some other ex-newtowners too.
today
it was more fun n interesting today.had icebreaker games ,songs n cheers.pjc's sch song is quite nice.we also learnt the pjc mass dance,it is so complicated n confusing.those who were in mg26 got to noe 1 another better,not like yesterday.i really really like my group a lot.there r some very friendly people there. gtg..dunno when i am going to blog again,maybe next year.haha
lolz...

2009-03-02T13:34:00.002+08:00

hi peeps...haven been online for the past few days thx to my great bro...idiot
spoil the com and dun dare own up,dun be a guy la...go be a gal....scaredy cat...now i am using the school laptop to blog.. .will not be able to go online this few days...sorry to ahem.....bb

2009-02-04T16:40:00.002+08:00

hey people...
damn pissed now...y are parents always so unfair..always zhong nan qing nu.,,com spoil also my fault...everything in this house that is spoilt all my damn fault...even when tat damn bro of mine fought with others outside and got caught by the police, it is also my fault...as if i taught him to do tat. u r the one who spolit him till he thinks tat he own everything. it is my fault???pls la....u still say if u had a choice u would not give birth to me...then y did u???/y did u bring me to this "great"world...
do u noe tat when the chi teacher told me to write a compo on a happy family...i did not even noe wat to write???cos i do not even noe wat is called a happy family with u people./i just wrote wat the teacher told me to...
even now...when tat idiot is in ns... u dun even bother to lend me a listening ear to me... all u noe is to scold me or else u just keep asking:"wat should i cook for him when he gets back?""when does he come back?" if not u just vent ur anger on me...wat am i???ur venting machine???do i even belong here???THX A LOTTTTTT!!!!mum and dad for giving me this "great" family....who do i depend on when i need to talk???my godsisters and my friends...everyone says ur family will always be with u..for me it is the opposite... my family will not be there for me,it is my friends and godsisters...
sorri people for publishing all this bullshit abt me n my "family"..bye,,,

2009-01-28T13:27:00.002+08:00

yo people...
blogging during f and n again.. yoohoo...
busy everyday with work...economy veery bad nowadays.. my ang baos shrinked le...
huishan never tell me tat her blog got blog song. then i went to open it... then the song played, lucky teacher never hear.. haha..i think i freaked out.. i didn realise it till hs was staring at me.she is A BIG BULLY!!!
i got a b3 for chinese o level last year... boo...

2008-12-12T15:56:00.003+08:00

hey people...how are ur holidays...it has been a long time since i updated...have been busy with stuff...i think i am going to die from boredom...lolz
i am updating cos lina jie says must update...haha...
enjoy ur holidays people from my level...it is going to be a hard and busy year next year..enjoy all u can now...studying and work...sign...

2008-11-05T18:12:00.001+08:00

had o level chi exam n guides today
so tiring
at last can relax le...yay!!!miss u(u noe who u r)

2008-10-14T17:54:00.000+08:00

hey people...
at last!!!!able to blog with peace....hahaha...my bro just went off to australia for ns training..no one to compete with me for com...
but today is a GOOD day For GRACE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY...GODSISTERS FOREVER!!!

thx people...

2008-07-21T17:55:00.001+08:00

hi
i am using blogger again...
thx people for wishing me happy birthday and giving me presents...i love u people...

2008-05-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

hi people
it is after the exams
yay!!!it is playtime...
at last can relax and play as much as i want
good luck for results people...

2008-04-22T17:33:00.002+08:00

hi people long time no see...
today had f and n test... i think i will fail this time, i never really study this time.then after the test, we were supposed to do the mock paper online and i was like looking at people's blogs.haha...so naughty of me..then when ms william came near, i quickly minimize it. luckily she didint catch me...
then after that had higher chinese, almost fell asleep.yesterday i was like falling asleep during yang lao shi's lesson, then she saw me and made me go to the toilet to wash my face.when i returned she told me to stand up so that i wont fall asleep easily...so stupid la... i still feel like sleeping...then after hc was ss.. almost fell asleep again... ast sat didnt go for his and ss mock exam cos got fever...so sian, i study till i 1 2 die le then fever...wa lao...
the after recess we have physics mr goh never come so free period...yay!!!then english, do quickwrite again...sigh...and the topic is EARTH DAY!!!so not cool.then last 2 periods were pure geog..yay!!!my favourite subject..tml getting back test paper for pure geog...scared...then this thurs got pure geog test on COASTS!!!sian, just before the exams...
bye people see u guys perhaps after MYEs...

2008-03-26T17:51:00.002+08:00

hi
i damn pissed off by somebody today ok
firstly, to the person who always accuses people who backstabbing u. i dun backstab anyone unless they piss me off. so if u 1 2 do this this kind of stuff,carry on for all i care...dun make me hate u....there is a limit to my patience...u haven seen me erupt before ,cos once i erupt,nobody can stop me and no matter how many times u apologise i still will not forgive u...and mark my words,i mean wat i say!!!!
secondly,to the same person, u keep telling me who u like...do u know tat is veri irritating for me...if u like him just tell him so..i know u have a fear of being rejected but i dun think it is a right time to get into any serious relationship now...furthermore..ur results r not good,so stop acting as if u r the smartest in the whole world....

2008-03-11T17:43:00.001+08:00

yesterday had chinese mock exam...how was it people?quite ok to me
today had chinese listening damn boring then yang lao shi say someone fell asleep wonder who is it???lolz
bye people

2008-02-16T15:53:00.001+08:00

hi people yesterday was chinese oral for me.i think i screwed it up.then went for guides after oral.footdrills...sian...bye...

2008-02-14T20:30:00.001+08:00

hi people long time never blog le
happy valentine's day!!!
today went out with friends after coming home from atp...
tml got chem test and higher chinese test...
sian...
byebye

2008-01-03T18:15:00.000+08:00

hello it has been so damn long...today so damn fun almost all lessons are humans subjects,pure geog,elective his and social studies.my geog teacher is miss caroline chan and my his and ss teacher is mdm nisah.higher chi teacher is none other than yang lao shi!!!chem teacher is mdm valli.physic teacher dunno yet lez.pe teacher:ms tham.pe lesson on mondaysbut not sure yet cos the timetable may change.f & n teacher is ms grace william.maths teacher:mrs cheryl goh.yay!!!this year our maths surely veri good de.music teacher should be mr sem.bye

2007-10-11T17:39:00.000+08:00

hi people...
so soorry never blog for so long,i have been preparing for exams...woosh the EXAMMS ARE OVER!!!hope all of u get good results ok...especially sec2s next year must get into good class...
my aim is 3/2...cause i scared of all the pure sciences actually just JOKING!!!haha,lol...today was the last paper maths paper 2 it was quite ok though not like paper 1...i so damn relaxed now

went out with my mum after school to the library and then out with my friends,i missed them so much...haha
anyway every1 have a nice weekend
bye!!!

2007-07-31T18:15:00.000+08:00

2day veri pissed off by olivia...keep calling go in and out of our class..stupid lah,waste our time...aslo damn pissed off by mr aeroplane...nothing much 2 rite abt...bye....

2007-07-26T17:50:00.000+08:00

hi...
long time did not update le....
18/07/2007:MY BIRTHDAY!!!1st i 1 2 thank those who gave me presents and gave me happy brthday greetings...got lots of presents....i also 1 2 thank amanda for buying a cake for the july babies...it was a nice cake...hehe...I LOVE U GUYS!!!
21/07/2007:RACIAL HARMONY DAY....a lot of people wear ethnic costume but i didnt...hehe...guides after school...had foot drills...dunno y...but i damn fed up tat day...then because kamini say the command too fast le...then i got more irritated...then i shout timing veri loud,louder than her,like 1 2 challenge her...then she called me 2 be timer...damn pissed off lah....
today:during miss wong's period,kar ee make teacher angry...then miss wong dun 1 teach...then we kepp asking him 2 apologise...he dun 1 2 ....then after we keep pestering him for a whil...then i accidentally saw miss wong smile...then she teach...luckily...sheri,me,ziyan,amanda,eugene,xiangrui,liwei,elaine,siying and many others were the ones who pester him to apologise....
tml going snow city during guides yay....must be veri fun...
9 august-11august:guides camp at camp christine...

2007-06-12T14:19:00.000+08:00

u noe sometimes i will get pissed off.....so dun make me irritated!!!!guesss who i am so angry with????this person is one who always like 2 go in between the best of friends and break up friendships.....official warning to the person who i mention up there(u noe who u r....):if i ever catch u doing this again to anyone,dun blame me.....ok...u will get it from me....u noe i mean wat i have said....i have put up with u for a damn long time already.....nvm....dun talk abt this stupid idiotic bitch anymore....i am looking forward to the guides carnival on the 23rd of june....

2007-05-12T15:14:00.000+08:00

hi guys...exams are damn over...at last...on thursday,while going home,met a guai shu shu on the bus...he keep scolding newtowners,but not the others...he must have a grudge against newtowners.he scolded vulgar language at some girls sitting behind and say newtowners have no discipline...then when me and my friends talked,he ordered us to shut up like the whole bus is his like tat...then when i said 'happy studying' to my friend,he say 'i will be happy if u just shut up.'we talked like hs business like tat...also not my father or my grandfather,we also never wake him up from his sleep or wat...so we decided tat he got some prob in his head...haha...hate someone to the core,see her everyday...i mean almost everyone in my class hate her...tat person is jy....haha...u have to guess there 2 jys who are girls in my class....haha...next week got guides liao yay....must back to enthu mood again...haha..bye see u guys soon...

2007-05-05T15:24:00.000+08:00

hiiii...now this few weeks having examsss...stressed up.history,english and chinese finished le...yay..i passed my higher chinese paper 2..next mon having science...nervous,anyway good luck everyone...haven finish preparation for art yet...finished research and sketches... yay.bye..

2007-04-15T14:06:00.000+08:00

hi guys...it has been a long time since i post...perhaps i really should forget and start on my studies...at last odyssey of the mind is over...miss u guys...sorri i cant go for tree planting on thurs...odyssey of the mind rehearsal.there goes my environmental badge and 2 cip hrs....

2007-03-27T08:52:00.000+08:00

hi sitting behind with sheri....sec 2s excited...tml camp...haha...buti not as excited as during guides camp...nothing to do...i am bad girl,bloggging during lesson...cant go guides this fri...so bad....i will miss u guys....dun miss me...
yay..miss 3 days of lessons...veri good...anyway...we are happy because of this...
ran 2.4 pre-test last fri...damn tired after tat damn sick...feel like vomiting...dun noe y?saw cat they all while walking back,they going for pe also...
yesterday got art,cannot draw cause my partner never come...he have my photos...bye...teacher come le...

2007-03-21T20:01:00.000+08:00

hi sorri for not posting for so long....my com sent for repair..pardon me,this post quite long....last fri went for botanical gardens to get observer badge...the saturday before tat fri,10.3, went for volunteery work at marina city park...lots of fun.on the fri,9.3,went for maths trail so cant go guides so sad.i feel tat it is so boring,nothing fun,i rather go for guides if can choose but it is compulsary,so sad...:(yesterday have oral...so frightening...the teacher,mrs lam,say good picture description....haha:D.On 6.3,had odyssey of the mind meeting,beginning to make props...went for a hair cut at chinatown on a sunday...forget which sunday....haha....

on 8.3 parents meeting,fail my maths and history but now change teacher le...yay...sign...best subject geography.on 7.3,went for briefing at the singapore heart foundation headquarters.2.3,cross country,did duty...some people want to take the plain water without the coupon,,,last saturday went for the gangshow at acsi....saw some friends over there...looking forward to the guide meeting on fri... 28th to 30th of march going to sec 2 camp should be able to be back for girl guide meeting...recently,doing badges...girl guides,keep it up,lets earn more badges!!!from today onwards,sec3 express recess with lower sec as the 2nd recess overcrowded...see u guys on the next post....

2007-02-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

hello.....if i dun update my blog is going to die already....so much holiday homework better finish them by tml....haha..tml no guide meeting so bad.listening to music now...playing computer games and listening are the only times i can relax...gotta play battleon byebye...see u guys soon....

2007-01-30T12:32:00.000+08:00

using the computer in school to update during biology....haha..nothing to do lehz so bored...long time no see...i am damn bored.sign....anyway those with blogs faster update leh...see u guys soon..i have gotta see the class blog..

2007-01-11T17:47:00.000+08:00

now doing flyer for cca open house...hope there are a lot of new guides this year.quite stressed already....sigh....but i enjoy chem,bio,music,maths(a little bit)...haha,lol...see u guys next time...

2006-12-10T14:12:00.000+08:00

so long never update le...sorri...first i tell u about the girl guides camp...wow iit was so fun with peggy's funny jokes..i will not tell it in detail like peggy weggy...yay i am so happy my group got best group...we were the only ones who sleep tightly 2gether..lol.miss u guys...bye see u on the next update...

2006-10-28T16:55:00.000+08:00

yo guys!!!how are u guys doing...happy holidays!!!for the sec2s,did u all get into good classes?i certainly look forward to the sec2 life...haha,lol....ok..i got 2 go bye....

2006-10-21T15:42:00.000+08:00

yo guys...
how are ur exams...my history test passed.yay!history:73.5!!scare me i thought i will fail my history....exams over can play liao!!!!peggy is super cute...haha lol...

2006-10-18T18:15:00.000+08:00

hi readers...
i feel so sad...when will i ever get high marks....alll my exams so lousy....sigh...

2006-10-10T18:03:00.000+08:00

Hi my friends...exams going to be over soon!!!yay!!!can play le...hope i get good results for my exams... 13th of october faster come...i aslo hope that i and my ex-classmates will have class gathering again..i miss them so much..ok..got to go,i have to study!bye!

2006-10-03T17:47:00.000+08:00

hi readers!!!at last higher chinese and english paper finish already!!!yay..gotta work hard for other subjects..everyone study hard!!!bye!!!wish you guys good luck for all exam papers!!!

2006-09-17T15:28:00.000+08:00

yay!!!i got my bronze badge already..so happy..girl guides must buck up ok??we must get gold!!!i am going to get my silver badge too..so sian 2day..haven finish art yet..so difficult 2 draw..
ok..i have got 2 go..bye readers see u all soon..and prepare well for exams..wish you all good luck ..

2006-09-07T14:30:00.000+08:00

hi readers..i feel so sad..about 1/4 thing..i treat the culprit so well and she wanted to bring me down..so is this the outcome somebody well...my heart is bleeding..

2006-09-06T14:52:00.000+08:00

cut my hair on mon..now look like nerd..haha..fri hiking cancelled changed to normal guide meeting so bad..these few days so sad..dun noe why..maybe because of the 1/4 thing???

2006-08-30T16:46:00.000+08:00

hi readers..yay!!!2moro is the celebration for teacher's day!!!must go back pri school to visit teachers..

2006-08-29T17:25:00.000+08:00

today so sian...sigh...the campfire was exciting...today 3 periods of higher chinese..how i wish i did not join higher chinese..